An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
Tree Jokes
What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?
"Family strong, but not that strong."
Can I pin your corpse to a tree?
Me and my emo group were walking down to the tree and somebody yelled, "Don't leave me!"
What's the difference between an umbrella and a tree?
I don't know.
My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.
What did a tree say to the tomato?
Nothing! Trees don't talk, silly.
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
You were supposed to be born in the tree.
The sticks were your siblings.
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.
Why doesn't Newton cut trees in vanilla Minecraft? Because he wants Minecraft to be realistic!
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
Why have there been so many deaths around the world?
Trees and ropes.
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
Answer: The family tree!
Yo momma's so stupid, her family tree is a telephone pole.
What did the fat guy say to the tree?
"Get me some coconuts!"
Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?
A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.
What's the similarity between an emotional and a leaf?
The emo is still hanging.
