Tree

Tree Jokes

Ornament

Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?

'Cause she always dropped them.

Orphan

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Well, at least one gets picked.

Wood

What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.

Rope

How do u get a depressed person out of a tree?

You cut the rope they hung themself in...

Emo

What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?

They are both going to be hanging from a tree.

Family Tree

Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?

A: Fall.

If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.

Emo kid

When an emo kid jumps out of a tree, what happens when he hits the ground?

Nothin' much, he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope.

Koala

Why did the koala climb the tree?

To get to the other branch. :)

He made it, don't worry!

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  • Depression

    What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?

    Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.

    Day

    One day, there are friends having fun.

    Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."

    And they all agree.

    Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.

    Squirrel

    A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

    Misunderstanding

    A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid.

    Man: "Hang in there! I'm gonna get some help!"

    Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said.

    RIP Daniel Kyre from Cyndago (July 6, 1994-September 18, 2015)

    Daniel committed suicide five years ago today......

    Cow

    Teacher: Describe a penguin.

    Student: Black, white, beak.

    Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan.

    Student: Sad, maybe depressed, no family.

    Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow.

    Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes.

    Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?

    Student: It describes you tho.

    Crisis

    What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.