Tree jokes
Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.
Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.
I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.
Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.
A depressed boy went to high five a tree, guess what the tree did?
The tree left him hanging.
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
Omg wassup dude, why does your hair look just like a young Whoopi Goldberg from "The Color Purple?" Them damn stanky looking corn bread rows on your head; you look like a damn cheetah pet. Che che che cheetah, they available at Wal-Mart, Dollar Tree, Target, and Kroger.
Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?
'Cause he wanted higher grades.
Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?
Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?
Son: Mom, what is money made of?
Mom: Paper.
Son: Where does paper come from?
Mom: . . .
Did the leaf or the emo fall out of the tree? The leaf won. The rope stopped the emo.
Q: What’s a koala's face song? A: Never gonna give you up BECAUSE it hangs on the tree and the person is the tree?
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.
Who is white, hairy, and rusty in the tree?
It's Rambo Rabbit with a big gun that was.
What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!
What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?
A leaf.
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?
'Cause she always dropped them.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
How do u get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope they hung themself in...
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!
I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.
Why does a woodpecker have a beak?
So as to not smash his head against the tree.