So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
"Wanna play the rape game?"
"No!!!!"
"That's the spirit!"
Rape jokes aren’t funny. People like me that are actually victims of rape are triggered by them.
Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.
A boy and his mother survived a car crash.
The boy asks his mother, "Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?" The mother replies with "More like an accident."
*School shooting happens*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*
American student: "First time?"
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.
Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.
Why are school shooting jokes so funny?
Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!
I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”
What did the first rape victim say to the second rape victim?
"You are a consequence of rape!"
"Hippity hoppity, the school shooter spotted me."
My friend, Jackson Huge-T, got raped by Huge-D's.
That awkward moment you try to relate to Batman by killing your parents.
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.
Why did little billy drop his ice cream cone?
Cuz he got hit by a bus while crossing the street.
What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident?
An amputation.
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell shocked.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.
I'd tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.
What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.
