Tragedy jokes
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
“Life is going swimmingly,”
“Tell that to Whitney Houston.”
My wife was run over.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
Do you know the shortest joke about Titanic?
*Splash!*
When was the only time you could see people base jump without a parachute?
2001/9/11.
You wanna know why the Titanic was split in half? The iceberg hit it from the front and back.
How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?
Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!
How did Princess Diana cross the road?
Through the windshield!
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream?
Because he was hit by a bus.
My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."
I would make a 9/11 joke, but it just wouldn't land.
Why did the chicken cross the towers?
Because he ordered a plane pizza and didn’t get to the other side.
9/11, 911, same thing.
What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
"Go fuck yourself... at the bottom of the sea."
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!
Sonic says... April 1st is the best day to do a school shooting. They will think it’s a joke! 😃