A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."
Three construction workers were sitting on the bridge that they were building, having their lunch break. The first guy says, "If I get a Vegemite sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The second guy says, "If I get a peanut butter sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The third guy says, "If I get another strawberry jam sandwich, then I am going to jump off this bridge." The next day, the first guy gets a Vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich, and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All three guys jump off the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals, the first wife says, "If he just told me, I would have given him a different sandwich." The second guy's wife says, "It is all my fault. If only I knew." The third wife says, "I don't get it, he makes his own lunch."
The Titanic was in a pickle when they saw the iceberg.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.
After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.
They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.
That awkward moment you try to relate to Batman by killing your parents.
Titanic - "Yo, look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, let's hit her!"
I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."
What's worse than finding one dead baby in a bin? Finding one dead baby in five bins.
It's sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as wild dogs.
I've never seen my dad since September 11. I wonder where he is...
There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.
Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.
My grandfather was there when the Titanic sank. He shouted 3 times that it was gonna sink until they finally kicked him out of the movie theater... haha
What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either.
I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.
On 9/11, the Twin Towers ordered 3 pepperoni pizzas. One came in plain, the other came in late, the third went to the wrong address.
