Worst Jokes Ever
I wish my dog was depressed so she can cut her own nails.
NONCE
Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?
Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?
Answer: European (You're-a-peein')
He's in a wheelchair.
This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.
Why did Sally drown in the pool?
She had no arms, remember.
What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?
Fruit punch.
Dang, it got ketchup on my sleeve. What do I do?
Spread the love!
Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?
Well, I just can't seem to put it down.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer (no idea).
What job lets you kill the most people?
An abortion doctor.
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
What happened when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Complete and utter destruction.
I made a website for orphans.
It doesn't have a homepage.
Daddy bear said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!"
Mummy bear said, "It was probably your whore, Linda!"
Where do you go if you lost a pencil?
Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.
Why was Stephen Hawking late to the NASA meeting?
He couldn't get up the kerb.
Lettuce ketchup.
Bread?