Worst Jokes Ever
I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.
Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"
So, once upon a time, there was a man who lived in his house with his wife.
He got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him.
Not even four seconds later, he came back inside panicking, saying, "There's a rabbit with a gun outside!"
The wife replied, "Oh, don't worry, rabbits don't have guns. They can't shoot people; you must be imagining things."
The man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again.
So he stepped outside the front door, and the rabbit shot him.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
The cycle of Pionel Pessi:
- Ghosting👻
- Diving🐬
- Complaining to teammates😡
- Complaining to refs🤬
- Missing sitters🤦♂️
- Gets a lucky open net tapin⚽️
- Proceed to get 🐐 shouts
- Repeat🔁
People with REAL ball knowledge know he’s just an overrated tapin merchant 😭
There is one difference between autistic kids and vegetarians.
They're both vegetables in serotonin ways.
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.
I was digging in my garden when I found a treasure chest full of gold. I was about to run inside and tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.
A transgender woman with cancer of the tits only has to pay for half the operation.
What did the lion say to the lion tamer? Nothing, because when the lion tamer whipped the lion, the lion killed him.
Omg wassup dude, why does your hair look just like a young Whoopi Goldberg from "The Color Purple?" Them damn stanky looking corn bread rows on your head; you look like a damn cheetah pet. Che che che cheetah, they available at Wal-Mart, Dollar Tree, Target, and Kroger.
What's the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The face you make when you nail them.
Bob's Family Restaurant:
Orphans:
:(
Do you know your E?
You're E tarded.
What is the difference between a tree and a school?
A school is for kids, and a tree is for birds.
Why do nuns go around in pairs?
So one nun makes sure the other nun doesn't get none!
What did the cow say to the other?
"Cheese!"
Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.
What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?
One's a fucking tree.
What did one bean say to the other bean?
How you bean?
Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?
A: Tumor.