Worst Jokes Ever
You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!
1: Hey.
2: What?
1: We're outta paint.
2: *HMM*
(And that's how stop signs have extra paint.)
Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.
Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."
What do you call Scooby Doo with a blunt in his mouth? Scooby Dooby.
Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't have a home to go to.
What do you call a movie about an orphan?
The Bat Man.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home plate.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know what home is.
Why did the ducks go to jail?
They sold quack.
Let's rock and roll!
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?
His left shoulder.
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
lolo.
Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?
Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!
Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!
Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?
He was not worth keeping.
What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"
Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it only went halfway.