Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Don't turn the toaster sideways, worst mistake of my life.
Why couldn’t the dinosaurs talk? Because they were dead.
Damn, that beat dropped harder than my grandma falling down the stairs.
U mess with goose, he strain out all of your body juice.
U mess with goose, he hang u with noose.
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
Your hairline pushed back lookin' like you got slapped up by Will Smith.
Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."
At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."
What do you call a dark, average height Punjabi male?
Josiah.
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
Couldn't be me being an orphan.
Why couldn't your mom make you dinner? Because she's dead!
What is the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?
The baseball player has a home to run back to.
Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."
10, being in the middle, tried to prevent 9/11 from getting closer.
Sorry, I meant 9 and 11.
Making a comforting breakfast.
But you have a knife.
When you're in a cage But it's not real!
Being in a cage But you have the key.
Being in a cage But nobody sees you.
Being outside of a cage, but it's empty.
Living and realizing you've been born into one.
Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**.
But you can't live without them.
The cage Is you. You have the key But you don't know how to use it.
There’s only one answer to who would win, 1996 Bulls or 2017 Warriors...
...Steve Kerr’s team.
Your hairline is built like a license plate.
Your hairline goes so far back that it looks like Will Smith slapped it.