Worst Jokes Ever

Your mum is so ugly, she tried to join an ugly competition. They said, "Sorry, no professionals."

What do you call a chubby Robert Pattinson? The Fatman.

So one time I was with my girlfriend, crazy, right? But we were doing a TikTok eye follow challenge, and she pulled up a pic of Gwen Stacy from Into the Spider-Verse, and I looked somewhere I shouldn’t have, and she smacked me, and I changed to the Rock, and you know where she looked? WTF, right in the no-no square, and since she was a girl, all I could do was sit back and watch.

Your hairline so back that back in the day of your hairline, Burger King was called "Burger Prince."

How did Helen Keller dance? Very Bad.

How did Helen Keller draw? With her hand.

Why did Jordan cross the road? So he could get to his house.

I thought of you today, and it reminded me to take out the trash.

I’d give you a nasty look, but you already have one, bummer!

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.

Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?

Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.

Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!

Stacy: lol

Why couldn't people have their phone on airplane mode during 9/11?

Because their phone exploded the towers.

If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?

Idaho... Alaska!

eBay is so useless.

I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.

Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?

To the I.C.U.

A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”

“Pop,” goes the weasel.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that Keagan's FIFA team should be this terrible, also the problem is that Keagan is a Real Madrid fan.

Don't listen.

Hi sisisissisisisisisis.

Your mum is so fat that she took a spoon to the supercool.

Your hairline is so far back it looks like it got smacked up by Will Smith.