Worst Jokes Ever

Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.

Your hairline is so far back that if you wore yellow, people would think you were One Punch Man.

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale said: "OOOWWWWW!!!! Get off me, you overweight bucket of lard."

Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.

Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.

I was going to listen to a funny comment about abortion, but her joke was crap.

I would make a joke about short people, but they probably couldn't hear it.

Me: "Hey, get my joke on that timeline."

Her: "No."

Your hairline is so far back that not even Tom Brady could throw that far.

What is Uranus' favorite exercise? ... Hy knees.

What do you call a notorious special needs student with an extra chromosome?

The double trouble.

Your forehead is so big it takes 3-4 business days.

You are so ugly, when the Joker saw you, he stopped laughing.

I hate school. I mean, why can't you pull out a 12 gauge and shoot everyone, including the teachers?! This generation is too soft, man.

My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.

My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.

I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.

Your mama is so stupid.

Your dad said, "You're driving me crazy," so your mom handed him the keys and said, "You can drive."

I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.

Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.

What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?

Answer: fire.