Worst Jokes Ever
What can a duck eat for a snack? Saltine quackers!
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put on the wrong socks this morning.
Why can't an orphan go to a family reunion?
It has no family.
Is Google male or female?
Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a fruit joke.
I told this knock knock joke to Helen Keller...
Me: Knock Knock
Her:
I've got not much of anything to be honest.
Been in special classes in school.
Not liked by people.
Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me.
31 years old and never had sex, pathetic.
Not very smart.
Don't look good.
Hate myself more than anything.
Been a failure at everything in life.
Probably be alone forever.
People treat me like crap.
Can't do anything right.
And the list goes on and on.
So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet? The answer is, I forget. I'm a extreme procrastinator, keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple actually gets picked.
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?
He was a brave sucker.
My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.
A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"
Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"
The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."
How to Make an Orphan cry
Step 1: Talk about Home.
Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.
Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!
My girlfriend's name is Candice.
Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D
I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.
It's so sad that Stephen Hawking has a whole category on here about him and he can't stand up for himself.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Why did the Twin Towers die? Because they had too many plane pizzas.
Why do orphans want to be criminals?
Why was number 10 scared?
It was surrounded by 9/11.