Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama so fat that State Farm tried to get on her side but couldn’t.
Why did the woman cross the road?
What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
Why couldn't the annoying dog get on Papyrus's nerves?
HE'S A SKELETON. HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY.
Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"
"No."
"Have you always been honest?"
"No, never been caught!"
How do 4 gay guys fit on one stool at the same time?
They flip it over.
"Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Coming straight home to me."
Yo mama so fat, she needs 17 iPhones to take a selfie.
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.
What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers.
Welcome to Dave’s orphanage. You make it, we take it.
I wrote a book called "Endless Love."
It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.
Why do cemeteries have fences?
Because people are dying to be there.
Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?
Because they've already been roasted!
People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"
"Yeah, over my dead body!"
Do you know what the F in orphan is for...
Family.
My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.
Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.