Worst Jokes Ever

What does the door say to the doorbell?

The door said: "You dingus!"

Did you hear about the emo kid in a wheelchair? Exactly.

What do you call a bored robot?

A “sigh”-borg.

Deals is bully, right? Denise, like a bully type of rock, is a piggy.

My teacher says no phones allowed. I say my phone is allowed because I’m nobody, Dania.

Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.

What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!

Why did Stephen Hawking die? He couldn't log in.

I'm always forgetting these kinds of jokes. I also forgot my son's name.

Bob is Johnny, ahgaaghahahahaha!

Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?

A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!

When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.

Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?

What did one emo say to another emo... "Rock it out!"

Why do orphans only have 354 days?

'Cause they are missing Mothers and Fathers day!

In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.

Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."

I would invite you to play baseball, but there's no home for you to run to.

You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.

My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Chicken.

Chicken who?

Are you chicken me????!!!!

One day Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking a cigar. Johnny said, "Can I have a puff?"

Grandpa said, "Can your dick touch your ass?"

Johnny said, "No, then that's your answer."

Later that day, Johnny saw his grandpa drinking a drink. Johnny said, "Can I have a sip?"

Grandpa said the same thing, "Can your dick touch your ass?"

Johnny said, "No, then that's your answer."

Later that night, Johnny was eating some cookies in the kitchen. Grandpa said, "Hi son, can I have a cookie?"

Johnny said, "Can your dick touch your ass?"

Grandpa said, "Yes."

Johnny said, "Good, go fuck yourself!"