Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the orphan call her boyfriend "daddy"?
Because she wanted that D.
Why were ET's eyes so big?
Because he saw the phone bill.
Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a chair, then a table.
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! Please help, please help!"
What is a suicidal horny person's job?
A butcher.
Alfred the Great was arguably the greatest king in England’s history.
The worst? Richard the Goat Fucker.
Why can't Jesus play hockey?
He keeps getting nailed to the boards.
A boy and girl are fucking. The girl yells "Senpai!" The boy smiles, pleased, but then her father walks in and says "What?"
Roses are red, I reload fast...
I'm gonna pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast!
So, I was watching YouTube, and then my friend says, "Those videos never get old." I replied, "Just like a Make-A-Wish kid." After I said that, he shot me in the head and said, "And now neither do you." Now I’m in Heaven, and God says to me, "Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies," and I said, "Are there summer women?" Now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero after he killed Hitler.
Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"
She pulls out a knife and fork.
Guys, these jokes are not funny. My dad died, he was the best Arabic pilot ever.
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
Knock, knock. Who's there? Little Boy Blue. Little Boy Blue who? Michael Jackson.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He could not find home.
What did the father name his daughter with no legs?
Peggy.
Why can orphans not play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Penis gay be like: among sussy, ding ding ding ding ding ding di di ding.
Imposter is SuS!?
Why do gay men want to eat each other's meat because meat is meat, and man has to eat meat?
What does my uncle call a school?
A strip club.