Toot jokes
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!
Toot and poop.
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
What part of the train goes "toot toot"?
The caboose.
"What do we want?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
"When do we want them?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
Go Kermit, toaster bath.
Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."
Friends: comments give reason.
Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."
Day later:
Mom: Let me see your TikTok.
Me: Shows her the video.
Mom: calls suicide.
JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.
They say that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. Wanna fight? 👅💦
The Toaster: The best bath bomb!
Community talk
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Lucy, who was known for one peculiar thing: she could not stop farting. It wasn’t just an occasional squeak or puff—it was a full-on symphony of noises, each more unpredictable than the last.
It all started one Saturday morning when Lucy was helping her mother bake cookies. As they mixed the dough, Lucy felt the pressure building. She tried to hold it in, but the more she foc… Read more
my 2 year old sister j randomly ran up to me and said in a really evil sounding voice "ME GONNA TOOT ON YOU AND THROW THINGS AT YOU" and then started making intense saliva-mouth noises