Told Jokes

I gave a blind man a gun. And told him it was a hair dryer.

This the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ

"He said one day, you'll leave this world behind. So live a life you will remember. My father told me when I was just a child, these are the nights that never die. My father told me."

Whenever I think about it deeply it makes me wanna cry :(

I spat on a blind kid and told him it was raining

I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.

stephen hawking had pins and needles and got told to walk it off

Me:Help I'm stuck in a trap Friend:What kind? Me:It's called life, yeah I've been trying to get out of it for 6 years now, it just won't let me go. Friend:That's not funny.. Me:Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to. Friend:I'm calling your mom. Me:She knows. Friend:Whats she doing to help, then? Me:She's supposed to help? Friend:Have you told your dad? Me:I will when he comes back. Friend:Where is he? Me:I don't know he's been gone for 15 years. Friend:.... Me:What? Friend:Why? Me:Why what? Friend:Why would you joke like that? Me:I was joking.. Friend:I know. Me:Oh. I didn't know. Friend:... Me:Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow..Maybe..

There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night. The police told us to stay inside until they shot him.

I told a cookie a joke the other day. It just crumnled

i didnt mean to call a afghanistan Hotline, i told them i was Depressed then they asked if i know how to drive a truck idk how that has anything to do with it

Why did the dumb blonde 👱‍♂️ pee inside the condom because the doctor told the dumb blonde 👱‍♂️ that the dumb blonde 👱‍♂️ was going to get a urine test

I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."

My mom told me a joke about boxing. I guess I missed the punch line.

9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out. It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001, I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.

my grandma told me i was next at my brothers wedding so i told her she was next at her husband's funeral

What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise

Breathing exercises

I told this to my English teacher and he said it to the class and no one laughed someone help)

I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher. They said: you can't be a pro-grammer nazi.