Dear NASA: Your mom thought I was big enough.–Pluto
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral? She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
Yo mama is so stupid she thought keeping you was a good idea
I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision
Your mom is so fat that she thought Eminem is a candy
Ur mom so stupid that she thought that Seventeen has four ghost members
What word starts with n and ends with r and you wouldn’t wanna call black person neighbor
You really thought n****r
i thought i saw a cool sticker on my office window, then i realized it was getting bigger and bigger
One time I was at home alone with my dawgy and I was home alone with my dawgy, and, and I was eating peanut butter, and I thought since its oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part, and my dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter up off my private part, and my private part, it got big and hard, and then peanut butter, but white came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining. And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted “What are you doing?” And then I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, “Well let me have a taste.” And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.
On Paxomedy channel I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting. I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dag down the issue it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch and that was the beginning of their fight and wierd enough the Cock won! I went to congratulate the winner but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldnt have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!
Person 1 " I love KFC" Person 2 "yeah, me too!" Person 1 " How many have you gotten?" Person 2 " How am I supposed too remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?" Person 1 " Chicken? What chicken, what do you think KFC stands for?" Person 2 "? Kentucky Fried Chicken?" Person 1 " What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children." Person 2 " BLOODY WHATT??"
I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
“Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball everyone thought she was pregnant again.
yo dad is so hairy people chased him because they thought he was bigfoot.
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.
as i am from south carolina i just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about
them slaves taking credit for everything
guy talking to an Indian therapist
he had a red dot and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said
"I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle"
I went home one day a see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what going on my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guest what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.
Yo mama so dumb that when she went to Starbucks she thought she could buy a star
