Thing jokes

Hi everyone, today I am taking requests for anything you want me to say.

The only thing they can see are their chopsticks.

What do you call a disabled Chinese person?

Sum Ting Wong.

People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.

The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."

The last thing I said to my dog was,

"Play dead."

Who remembers when Gwen was the only thing people talked about on this website?

Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?

Friend: What?

Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.

My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.

Wanna see something dark?

Close your eyes.

Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.

What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.

Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.

Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Knock knock.

Who's there? Discord server.

Discord server who?

This server is dead, bye bitches, I got better things to do than watch you sit here and type like a sloth.

I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"

What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?

The HIV test results.

I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"

What is the best thing about being back?

Free bullets.

Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.

One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.

Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."

What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?

Smoking.