I hope there are no women on here because they just aren't that funny.
They Jokes
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it's poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
What does a sprinter eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast!
What's the difference between an abortion and a baby girl in China? Nothing, they both die.
What do dogs and planks have in common? They both have to be walked.
Your mum (mom) so fat, she wore a yellow T-shirt, they said "Taxi!"
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can go 1, 2, 3 but they can’t go home. 🤣
Why do white people own so many pets?
'Cause they can't own people anymore.
They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?
Person: You can't kill an orphan!
Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?
My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.
Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.
Why don't bulls play archery? They might hit a bulls-eye.
History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."
Student: "I need that."
What language do they speak in the middle of the earth?
CORE-ean
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.
I walked up to 2 people kissing and stared.
After a little while, they asked me if I minded. I said no, I don’t mind.
Skeletons love to be in band. They love the trombone!
I was in my guitar class and my strings were dead, and then I realized they were more dead than George Bush on November 30, 2018.
Why does everyone like couch jokes?
Because they are sofa-nny (so funny)!
