They jokes
A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
Why are drums and autistic people the same?
They both go "uh uh uh uh uh uh!"
An orphan can never get a call home from school because they don’t have a home to call.
Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.
Why do orphans go to church?
It's the only place where they can call someone "father."
Why do vampires drink blood?
Because they can't drink Bloody Marys because they are vampires.
Why should you put an orphanage by a cemetery?
So they can always see their parents.
I was kidnapped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?
"Kinder Egg surprise."
Why do orphans always go to church? Because that’s the only place they could call someone "father."
Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.
Orthodox Christians are a little slow; they take 13 days to get the joke. So go easy on them, alright?
My lesbian friends bought me a gold timepiece for my birthday.
But, I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch!"
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always follow the street signs.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?
What does cake and baseball have in common?
They both need a batter.
These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.
And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!
Why do orphans always get picked on? They can't run and tell their parents.
Two guys were on a hunting trip, and after the first day of hunting, they didn’t see anything, so they decided the next day they would split up and meet back at the fire at dinner time.
After a day of hunting, they meet back at the fire, and one hunter asked the other, “How did your day go?”
The one hunter said, “I had the best day ever! I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever. We had sex for hours in every position you could think of.”
Then the other hunter asked him, “Was she a good lookin’ blond?” And he said, “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t find her head.”