Why are mice bad singers?
They are very cheesy.
Q: Why is it fun to hit an orphan?
A: Who are they going to tell, their parents?
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?
Beth-la-ham
There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed, and they all went to heaven.
God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said, "I want to be handsome." God granted his wish. The second guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the first guy." God granted his wish. The third guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish, and this continued on and on until the 15th ugly guy. The ugly guy was laughing, really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish.
If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?
He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
I don’t make 9/11 jokes they have a tendency to crash and burn
My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won't stop complaining about their mom.
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"
During WWI and WWII, the infantry would use shovels as weapons and to dig trenches. I bet they really dig that weapon!
Why can’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.
Why can't orphans go on an away trip? Because they already are on one.
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.
The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.
The guys show up and the guards shoot them.
The guys die because the guards used real guns.
I don't like these Undertale jokes. They just don't make any sense.
Why do Indian men marry fat women?
Because they worship cows.
What did one pillow say to the other?
Nothing, meh, they just sang a song about a rogue chicken whose feathers had been sacrificed to make them.
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
Why can't gay people play Baseball? They can't throw the ball straight.
