They jokes
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"
A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can never find home.
When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons.
American: "I won't ever see my dog again!"
Italian: "I won't ever make pizzas again!"
German: "Hey, granddad, how have you been?"
High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣
Why do doctors use so much lipstick?
Because they love cos-medics!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips? Because they need parent permission.
What do a doctor and a girlfriend/boyfriend have in common?
They both break your heart.
Why don't feminists like to eat hotdogs? Because they remind them of men's dicks.
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?
They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
Why can't orphan kids play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
They never get old.
Why can't orphans play basketball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
Two lions plan their escape from the circus. The night they get out of their cages, they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road.
As one lion gets a bite of leg, the second takes a piece of shoulder.
Then one stops and asks his companion:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
Why can’t orphans build computers?
They don’t know where to put the motherboard.