They jokes
What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.
I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.
Why are orphans prostitutes?
So they can call someone "daddy."
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today.
Now they call him Hot Wheels.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.
If someone with a lisp dropped a hammer on their foot, would they be Thor?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What did the people do to the deceased after tests?
They bari-um.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Who are the fastest readers of mankind?
The victims of 9/11, they went through dozens of stories in a couple of seconds.
Q. Why were the Twin Towers so mad?
A. Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they only got plane.
Why aren't orphans good at Monopoly?
They don't know what a house is.
An Indian kid walked into the shop and had a curry down because they had no naan bread in stock.
Why can't orphans sign up for sports?
They have to have a parent's signature.
Why are girls and rocks so alike?
If they're flat, they get skipped.
There was once a genie with a 10 foot weenie, and he showed it to the neighbors next door.
They thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake. Now it's only 6.4ft.
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree, what happens when he hits the ground?
Nothin' much, he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope.