They jokes

Why do vampires drink blood?

Because they can't drink Bloody Marys because they are vampires.

Why are heterosexual women jealous of gay men?

because gay men can perform fellatio on men better than they can.

If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan because what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

"Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a computer screen, and then they can see the government has to get Chili's."

A women's knitters group is having a meeting, and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies.

One woman says, "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system."

Another knitter says, "I'm taking folic acid to help my baby's brain."

Finally, one woman says, "I'm taking Thalidomide!"

All the women turn to her and say, "Thalidomide! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?"

The woman shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know how to knit arms."

I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.

Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.

Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.

Why is there only 363 days in an orphan calendar? Because they don't have Mother's Day or Father's Day.

What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.

They told me I'd never be good at poetry.

But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!

Once, there was a kid named Cale, but his classmates didn’t know it was spelled with a “C,” so they asked him if he could be their snack.