They jokes
Once upon a time, a donkey was in the jungle. Suddenly, he found a lion costume and then wore it. Then he walked around the forest, and every animal was scared of him. Then he got to the city, and every human was away from him. He was chasing them when he was chasing his owner. He brayed, and then they figured out that this was not a real lion, and then he told everybody about it. Then he berated his donkey.
Why do orphans love GTA?
Because they are actually wanted!
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
There's a white guy, black guy, and Santa Claus. They get a hotel room.
White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off your weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Santa Claus goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." Santa Claus looks at the ghost and says "I'm the ghost of Christmas past, you touch my dick I'll kick your ass!"
Women are like marshmallows because they are white, squashy, and we put our sticks inside you.
What country has been the hottest in recent years?
Sri Lanka, they had 3 bombs in a day!
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.
I hate when my class want to play hangman. Not because they hang a man, but because I get jealous.
French fries weren't originally cooked in France. They were cooked in Greece.
Since Christopher Reeves can't play Superman, they got a new person: Christopher Walken.
Why don't orphans go to Family Dollar? They don't have a family to go with 'em.
Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.
What's similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the fetus inside of her? They are both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's gonna kill me."
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...
Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...
I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...
When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.
Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.
Friend: Why?
Me: So they would hang themselves.
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.