They jokes
A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused, so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well, us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually, guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't know who to call daddy.
Do you know why orphans can't play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
Why is an orphan so scared of the dark?
They don't have a dad to check the closet.
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
You learn something new every day.
Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.
Why do your orphans not drink beer?
Because last time they did, he went to suck some dudes' toes, then he tried to take him to his parents, but I guess that never happened.
Why can't orphans play poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: They have nobody to call daddy.
Why didn't the orphan do the work?
Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
Why can’t orphans have sex?
Because they don’t have a daddy to run back to.
Why can orphans get away with being bad at school?
They do not have parents to bring to parent/teacher conferences.
Why can orphans get away with being bad at school? Because when the teacher says, "I want to have a parent/teacher conference," they just go about their day.
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.