Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
Jo mama so fat that when aliens invaded earth, they said, "Wow, two in one!"
Why did two 4s skip dinner? Because they already ate.
If two stoners get married, do they have joint assets?
The kids at Robb Elementary School went in to read books. Instead, they got dozens of magazines.
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
Why is it ok to make fun of orphans Because they cant tell their parents
These girls were bullying a kid. I asked if they were raping him. They stopped.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None they all sit in the dark
i never under stood school shooting jokes
i guess they were aimed at younger audiences
You are so skinny that they won't let you ride a fucking roller coaster because you flew before.
The terrorists got a killstreak of 2,996; they are popping off, bro.
How did they lose 2 Towers?
Reason: They just fell, just like how it did in Jenga.
(I d*n't care if it's a bad joke, ok?)
Why can't orphans have a Christmas list? Because they can't give it to their parents to tell Santa.
9/11 pilots are the best readers.
They went through 30 stories in less than an hour.
Why do girls play handball? Because they want to feel balls.
But then why do boys want to? Oh...
I give bubblegum to the homeless so they can chew it and still be hungry.
