They jokes
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They never reach home.
Stop making 9/11 jokes. They don't land so well.
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.
Why can't orphans make dad jokes? Because they don't have one.
Why can't orphans play basketball?
They don't know where home is.
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Why do orphans become criminals? Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.
I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal.
Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want.
Q: Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
A: Because they lost two of their towers.
What do gay guys and priests have in common?
They are both gay in their own ways.
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
Orphans are the best people to bully. They have no parents.
What did the people in 9/11 say when they got the wrong pizza? Man, they got it wrong, I wanted this shitty plane!