Why are Americans bad at Clash of Royals?
Because they have already lost two towers!
One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.
Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.
Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."
What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.
What do emos like to do when they're sad?
They play violin on their wrists.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because there they have a father.
Your momma is so old, when she went to the antique store, they wouldn't let her leave.
People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?
Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.
Why did the Twin Towers order from Just Eat?
They wanted some plane fries.
How do emo kids compliment each other? They say, "I like your cuts, G!"
What do Hitler's gas "shower" and guns have in common? They both kill someone.
I asked a emo kid if they wanna hang out.
Why do orphans like baseball so they can know what a real home is?
Why don’t spiders go back to school?
Because they learn everything on the web.
Your hairline is so back when the police saw it, they had to arrest you.
Why was the orphan so successful?
They told him, "Go big or go home," he only had one option.
Why are planes the fastest readers? Because they went through 100 stories in 20 seconds.
I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones, so I threw away the bent ones.
