Thereness jokes
Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.
Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.
Son: Why?
Father: You’ll need them there.
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there, son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.
Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Why do orphans not like cereal? Because their dad never came back with milk.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
If you're bored, joke about an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why do orphans have to have customized phones? Because there aren't home buttons.
Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.
Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.
So the coach got mad at me because I'm the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum, and I was just keeping the ball to myself. The coach pulled me aside and said, "Pass to others." I said, "Why?" And he said, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I said, "Yeah, but there's an 'm' and an 'e.'"
What’s the best part about stage four cancer?
There’s no stage five.
Why are there more female history teachers than male?
Because women like to bring up the past.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.
The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.
Why did Steven Hawking's snot not go to heaven?
Because there is no ramp to heaven.