Thereness jokes
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.
Orphans can't call their parents if they get hurt! Sorry.🩹
What do orphans and deaf people have in common?
They can't hear their parents.
I've Benin there.
I'm Ghana go.
I've got to Togo.
Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?
'Cause they're the ones making the toys.
Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.
Why were Twin Towers mad that their food wasn’t good enough?
Because they got plain.
Guys, if you saw a post from someone pretending to be me, don't listen to them.
I'm just going to be out for 3 days, or maybe for a month break. There are a lot of fakers.
The parents used to hit him.
His parents got into a car crash and died.
He became an orphan in an orphanage. The people there hit him. He looked up and said "Parents?"
"Knock, knock!""Who's there?""Abby."
"Abby who?""Your Mexican girlfriend."
My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.
He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"
Harry Potter
Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"
Jumanji
Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."
I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.
The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"
My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."
This isn't a joke, I repeat, this is not a joke. The plane in Lake Harriet is not in the lake. It is invisible because of the satellite pic, so there's no plane in Lake Harriet.
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family because there is no "f" in orphan.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Awww, don't cry!
Friend: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Your life.
Me: Ahhh, I wish!
*jumps off building*
You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.