Thereness jokes
Why don't you use a dull pencil?
Because there's no point. πππ
There's a saying that goes, "Only gay men know how to dress." Of course they know how to dress! They were in the closet!
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon.
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
Memes
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.
Knock knock, who's there? God.
God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who are you? Are you an owl or something?
What do gay guys and priests have in common?
They are both gay in their own ways.
I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.
What did the Twin Towers get when they ordered an extra large pepperoni pizza?
When the pizza man got there, all they got was plane.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bikini.
Bikini who?
Oh, that was just a bikini.
People said that we needed to follow in Kobe's footsteps, but there are none.
What do Will from "Stranger Things" and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air have in common? They're both named Will, and their lives both got flipped, turned upside down.
There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."
Why is the iPhone X the perfect phone for an orphan?
Because there is no home button.
If I had a dollar for every gender there is, I'd have two dollars and a lot of counterfeits.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!
You: Knock knock. Other person: Who is there? You: Not your parents.
You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?
You're-a-peein'. European.