Thereness jokes

Rape

    • There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.

  • 4

    • Finn

    • During the Wintery Wackiness Wars!

    A Soviet Sergeant, stationed stilly near a sloped summit with his silly soldiers!

    Then a shout sails from the tippy-top: "A Finnish fighter's fantastic force fractures a hundred heroic Honchos!"

    The Kommandant's kerfuffle commences, commanding a caravan of one hundred comrades to conquer the crest!

    Nifty navigation notes nil, the nasty news nabs many! After an Hour, hush descends. The high voice hollers, "A Finnish fighter's fantastic force fractures a thousand heroic Honchos!"

    Kommander fumes, forcing a further flurry, flinging one thousand fine fellows skyward!

    Nearly two hours now and the noisy nuisance ceases, then the shouting starts: "A Finnish fighter's fantastic force fractures ten thousand heroic Honchos!"

    The Kommandant kaput! Ten thousand troopers take the trek, taking tanks, trundling skyward, to take the terrain!

    Four fearsome, fretful hours then a soldier in tatters comes tumbling, talking: "Stop sending up soldiers, sir! There's two Finns fighting fiercely!"

  • 0
    • Thereness memes

    Meth

    • You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.

    Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA

  • 2

    • Mum

    • Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"

  • 7

    • Insult

    • Roses are red. Violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at YOU!

  • 5

    • Priest

    • Why do Catholic priests make the best cocksuckers for gay and bisexual men that are members of the Catholic Church?

    Because there are glory holes inside of the confessional booths.

  • 1

    • Sperm

    • How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using the computer?

    There is sperm on the computer screen.

  • 0

    • Orphan

    • Q: Why did the orphan cross the road?

    A: To get to the other side to find his parents.

    There was no other side of the road.

    Tornado

    • Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common? A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house.

  • 0

    • Shooting Range

    • I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...

  • 0

    • Fun Fact

    • 10 Fun Facts.

    1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)

  • 15

    • Massage

    • So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.

  • 0

    • Swing

    • Why did Sarah call off the swing? Because she has no arms.

    Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

  • 1