Thereness jokes
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
Why was there a box in a church? Because there was a funeral.
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!
What do gay guys and priests have in common?
They are both gay in their own ways.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who are you? Are you an owl or something?
Pov:You start writing son lyrics because you can't stand up for yourself knowing you've lost
I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.
There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
Knock knock, who's there? God.
God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!
What did the Twin Towers get when they ordered an extra large pepperoni pizza?
When the pizza man got there, all they got was plane.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bikini.
Bikini who?
Oh, that was just a bikini.
People said that we needed to follow in Kobe's footsteps, but there are none.
You: Knock knock. Other person: Who is there? You: Not your parents.
There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."
Why don't you use a dull pencil?
Because there's no point. 😐😑😑
There's a saying that goes, "Only gay men know how to dress." Of course they know how to dress! They were in the closet!
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon.
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.
What’s the best thing about fucking twenty-eight year olds?
There’s twenty of them!