Thereness jokes

Why are there no fat people in Japan?

Last time they had a "Fat Man," 80,000 people died.

Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?

There, there, over there, and over here too.

Why shouldn’t you call people in China?

Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.

Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.

Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:

1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps

There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.

Yo mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his fingers, she was still there.

Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.

Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?

Son: Yes, why?

Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.

  • 2

    • Knock, knock.

    Who's there?

    Your dad.

    But my dad's dead.

    I know, just reminding you!

    What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!

    Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.

    Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."

    The Flanders Song

    God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."

    Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.

    Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."

    "Leave me alone!"

    Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."

    A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"

    The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."

    Yes, sir.

    Four big guys and they grab on my thighs. Blow up my guts like the 4th of July. If they keep fuckin' my butt then I might just cry. Poop and semen sprayin' on my eyes.

    He lick my dick and the cum start sprayin'. Charging up my dick I'ma go super saiyan. When he cum the fuckin' booty I don't do much playing. Then I whispered in his ear, like hey are you stayin'? He said yeah I'm not leavin'.

    I guess he George Floyd, cause always leavin'. Not breathin' he chew on my dick like a baby. That's teathin' I'm fuckin' a nigga I think it's named Steven. Hawkin' f*ck him 'til he ain't walkin', dick stone-cold call him BBC. Austin It's a booty massacre when I visit him in Boston. Bought him new titties I don't care what they costin'.

    Bitch, hop on the dick do a split. Shout out Lil Baby. My dick is as real as it gets, I'm not fuckin' on him if he don't have tits. I'm catchin' his balls like my name Kyle Bitz.

    There's four Big guys, they're grabin' on my thighs. They blow my guts like the 4th of July. If he keep fuckin' my butt then I might cry. There's poop and semen sprayin' on my eyes.

    Yes sir, that is a fact tho, take out my dick slip it in his asshole. Swinging my dick through the air like a lasso. Painted his face like Apollo Pocasso (ugh). But I'm not a very good artist, f*ck 'em all good 'til that. Nigga farted planted my seeds in his ass like a garden. The way I play with balls, you should call me James Harden.

    Yeah, DigBar is elite, there's four big guys and I'm takin' their meat. I eat the boy's butt, Then I chase him with skeet. And I charge for booty, I promise DigBar Isn't cheap. And I count dudes when I sleep, not sheep, get up in my sheets. And I'm beatin' on my meat.

    Bitch. We got four big guys and they grab on my thighs. And they gon' bust on my eyes.