Thereness jokes

There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "You're." "You're who?" "You're adopted!"

Hi there guys, I have no jokes, buy.

These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.

Boy: Spell ME.

Girl: M-E.

Boy: You forgot the D.

Girl: There is no D in ME.

Boy: Not yet.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Orphan.

Orphan who?

Are you my mommy?

Why was one afraid of every number in the world?

Because ONE wanted TWO get something THREE FOUR FIVE at the yard sale, but SIX was not there. SEVEN EIGHT NINE as well. When all but ONE remained, it got TENse.

Me: Knock, knock.

Teacher: Who is there?

Me: Boo.

Teacher: Boo who?

Me: Stop being a crybaby and open the door!

Teacher: ......

Me: Aw man, detention again.

It's embarrassing when there is no toilet paper and you need to go and get one with your pants down. Luckily, the supermarket is just around the corner.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Boo." "Boo who?" "Don't cry in front of me, or else I'll cry!"

Why are there blind people? Because there is.

There is a new kind of jock strap; it only holds one nut. It is called a Trump supporter.

There was a woman sitting with me.

I had to leave until she pointed at something—it was my butt.

I was confused until it was her turn for truth or dare.

There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.

There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.

I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You're welcome. Hehehehe😛😛😛

1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!

2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!

3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!

4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!

If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!

Are these good?

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Ididap.

Ididap who?

That's the joke, you did a poo!

10 Fun Facts.

1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)

What do they use in communion when they run out of bread?

Doughnuts, because they're holy.