Theology jokes
God = what I hope to be.
Devil = what I can't accept.
I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.
Why does Satan worship himself?
Jesus told him to worship God.
A true God would be godless himself.
God's consciousness: Art.
God's unconsciousness: Christianity.
What did one God say to the other?
"I will die to be a man."
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
How did Jesus become self-sovereign?
He screws himself and becomes his own creator.
The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.
They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.
Satan and the devil are alter egos.
In the Bible, it says Jesus died for our sins, but he came back to life, so what did he sacrifice?
Was it a weekend to wash away our sins?
Jesus got rejected. A few years later, he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even Jesus is not a fucking cunt.
In the movie "Cars 2", there is a priest, which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars.
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both love naughty souls.
God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing.
Have you seen my uncle?
Jesus: I have.
God: Me too.
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?
The reason why God and Jesus have eternal life and the power, aka (holy spirit) is to control us, take our free will, and our eternal life, which is our heaven. Our time!
Just to show up, in the nick of time for the second coming in full costume ready to judge us. Them spending a lifetime preparing their big speech, their excuse of them hiding this whole time.
Lol, Surprise!
Joke being on them.
As we all stand there and are there to judge them, doing what they said they were made for.
Taking our eternal life back from Satan and the Devil and sending them to their home they created themselves!
HELL!
P.S. With a little extra punishments!
God, aka Mr. Universe said he was God's gift to this earth, but where is he?
What did Satin say to God??
"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"