Biblical jokes

Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?

Search up biblically accurate angels.

Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?

That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.

The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.

So I treat everyone like garbage.

It says in the Bible to only think about what’s pure and lovely… So I’ve been thinking about you all day long.

In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.

One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post

I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.

I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.

Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?

Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.

Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.

Teacher: He did not.

Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.

Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.

Suzy: Then you can ask him.

What does the Bible stand for?

Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.