Themselves jokes
Why do orphans play Sims?
Because they can make themselves a family.
What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?
They can't stand up for themselves.
I hate it when disabled people get bullied...
... because they can't stand up for themselves.
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.
Why do emos hang themselves? Because no one wants to hang around them.
I wish I had emo nails,
So they could cut themselves.
Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.
Why do orphans like the movie Home Alone?
Because they're home alone themselves!
What's an orphan's dream job?
A builder, to build themselves a home.
Why do white people colonize everything?
To steal a culture for themselves, something other than fornicating with anything that moves including their own children and pets, which they already do.
The reason why God and Jesus have eternal life and the power, aka (holy spirit) is to control us, take our free will, and our eternal life, which is our heaven. Our time!
Just to show up, in the nick of time for the second coming in full costume ready to judge us. Them spending a lifetime preparing their big speech, their excuse of them hiding this whole time.
Lol, Surprise!
Joke being on them.
As we all stand there and are there to judge them, doing what they said they were made for.
Taking our eternal life back from Satan and the Devil and sending them to their home they created themselves!
HELL!
P.S. With a little extra punishments!
What sucks about disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
Why is it bad to high five an emo?
They will leave themselves hanging.
Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.
Friend: Why?
Me: So they would hang themselves.
Not a joke but I hope the ones who are making jokes about Mexicans are Mexican themselves, lmao, cuz if you're not, uh... I think we both know what you are. 😟
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied?
'Cause they can’t stand up for themselves.
Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.
One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.
If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.
Anyone else on here looking at depressing jokes to make themselves feel better? Not that it's working, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Well, enough with the sob story, I gotta go get my razors. See ya in the long run.