Lesbians when the GPS asks them to go straight.
Them Jokes
Gay people when the GPS asks them to go straight.
The reason they attacked the towers is because the terrorists thought the towers were giant middle fingers pointed at them. What silly saudis!
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Men should provide their disobedient daughters with their own "milk" instead of letting them use the mother. That will teach those bitches some respect for men. It may even help them get laid later on in life.
Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
Say "I hate happiness" without the H (all of them).
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
One of them has a family tree.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.
Why don't orphans get dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
Hey guys, I have a question.
Doesn't everyone's parents tell them don't take candy from strangers? Then what is Halloween?
Sometimes women are like bad snacks. People try them and then chuck them in the trash.
Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."
"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.
"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."
The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"
The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"
What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.
