The jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get hit by a bus.

How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?

Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.

What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?

"I don't get it."

What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.

None.

What's the square root of your dead?

9/11.

"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."

-Al Nassr owner

Listen to the autism song on TikTok.

I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.

Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana?

They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she was hit by a bus.

Me: Have you seen a Mr. Weewoo?

Most people: No.

Me: He drives the ambulance downstairs.

Who would win?

The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,

Or one horny Henry?

A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.

Did you know that the shovel was a groundbreaking invention?

Why couldn’t anyone see the bird?

Because it was in da skies.

What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!

A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"

Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"

My friend: What are you doing?

Me: I'm making holy water.

My friend: How?

Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.

When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!

Q: What did one atom say to the other?

A: I have my ion you.