The jokes
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?
It is ground breaking!
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
Why did the male orphan decide to be gay?
Because he wanted someone to call "daddy."
I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
Memes
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
What did the north tower say to the south tower?
"You're too young to smoke."
Better to cum in the sink... than to sink in the cum.
Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."
Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"
Guy: "Yup"
Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"
Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"
Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.
He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)
Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet. The loser had to wear their underwear on their pants.
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
You know what the worst thing about gang rape is?
Having to wait your turn.
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.
Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).
I just found out I'm colorblind. It came out of the yellow.
There was a wedding so sad that even the cake was in tiers.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
My mom is the jelly, and my dad is the peanut butter. And I am the bread, the only thing keeping them together.
Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.