The jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too!
What is the definition of a woman?
A life support system for a vagina.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my sister?
There is no difference.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in the crack.
Two lepers playing cards... one threw his hand in; the other laughed his head off.
Why did the farmer eat a fork?
'Cause he's a dumbass.
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.
What did Sally say when she was stuck in the water with kelp?
"I need kelp! KELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"
A student got a bad letter grade, so the next day he came back with his own letter grade in his backpack: an A-K47.
There were three boys on the top of a slide.
The first one went down yelling "gold!" and landed in a pot of gold. The second boy went down and shouted "pillows!" and landed in a heap of pillows. The final boy went down and shouted "weeeeeeeee!"
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.
What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.
Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.
What is a female gamer's favorite part of the controller?
The joystick.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
Paper.
Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!
If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it didn't want to be argon.