The jokes
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
When Helen Keller tries singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl,
Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa.
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”
Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.
If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)
Memes
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.
Yo mama so fat, she fell off the judgement room and broke the 7 layers of hell.
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
What is the worst part about making an Asian girl squirt?
She charges you for extra sauce!
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.
Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
Why do rappers love the gym?
'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.
How do you know someone from India is a good sniper?
They have a dot in the middle of the head.
Blind people driving on the highway would be the world's biggest, and shortest game of bumper cars!
Yo mama so fat, she stepped on earth and the earth cracked.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.