The jokes
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).
Why did the orphan cry when he got back home?
Because he did not have one.
Why did the retard cross the road?
He never made it!
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and a book?
A book has papers.
What do you call field day in Africa?
The Hunger Games.
What’s the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator won’t fart when you pull the meat out.
What's one similarity between the twin towers and gender?
There used to be 2, and now it's a sensitive subject.
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
Yo mama so fat, she likes long, romantic walks to the refrigerator.
What’s the difference between outlaws and orphans?
At least outlaws are wanted.
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
Yo mama is so small that when she saw the Titanic, she called it the size of the Netherlands.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
What are the similarities of GTA V and 9/11? A plane can be stolen and crashed into a building by a bunch of terrorists.
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.
He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.
*I have seizures*