The jokes
What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.
What do you call the musical kid who is very aware of his surroundings?
C sharp minor.
The dark side of kid songs:
You got a friend in me... you got a friend in me!
How are genders and the Twin Towers alike?
There was 2, now it's a sensitive subject.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
Who is the world's fastest reader?
The Twin Towers, they blew through 86 stories in 5 seconds.
Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo.
I was digging a hole in the garden when I found some gold coins.
I was about to run and tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden...
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?
They both take it in the back and go woop woop.
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"
Because he would have beef with Homelander.
What is an emo's favorite movie?
The Suicide Squad.
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.
Why did the golfer change his pants?
Because he got a hole in one!