The jokes

Yo mama so fat, when she went on the elevator, it went down.

What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?

I haven’t banged a hooker.

Why did the frog take the bus to work today?

His car got toad away.

Your hairline is so jacked up even the barber couldn't fix it.

You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.

Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?

It has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.

Q: Why can't pilots play Jenga?

A: Because they will just hit the Twin Towers.

The Twin Towers ordered Little Caesars, but instead got Dominos.

What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.

I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.

I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)

People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.

The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."

I saw a girl crying. I asked her, "Where are your parents?" She cried as I got kicked out of the orphanage.

Why did the lonely fish get a detention? Because he left the school.

Why did the rooster cross the road?

To Cock-A-Doodle Die. Now you have a rooster pancake. My favorite. ^^

Your forehead's so big that I was tryna figure out if that was you or the moon.

Where do you buy cows in bulk?

At the stock market.

My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.

What's the difference between a blind person and an orphan?

They both can't see their parents.

Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"

The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"

BOINGZINGA!?!