The jokes
What did the tree say to the emo kid? Wanna hang?
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
My friend: To get to the other side?
Me: No, to get to the idiot's house.
My friend: Oh.
Me: Knock knock.
My friend: Who's there?
Me: The chicken.
DARK ALERT********
A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.
DARK ALERT********
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make noise after you throw them.
Ashten Parkes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Jesus.
Jesus who?
Jesus Christ, open the door!
Apple created the iPhone X for orphans because they don't have a home.
I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.
I watched a documentary called "Redline Carrera: Birth of the Memes." It all started with Paul Walker.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
Why did the school shooter earn extra points?
Because he was on a kill streak.
There once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he wrote with the other hand. He got left behind.
Whatβs the difference between a Rubik's cube and a penis? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Why did the prisoner run away?
To spit bars.
Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?
Your hairline caused the solar flare.
What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?
Why do emos love the winter? Because of the long sleeves.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Q: What's an orphan's favorite game?
A: The Sims 4, because then they can simulate having a family.