The jokes

Gen Z is most likely going to be the last generation who felt the pain of getting up early to catch their favorite show.

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?

What’s the difference between an onion and a viola?

No one cries when they cut up the viola.

Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.

Q: What did the kid say to the emo kid?

A: Don't leave me hanging!

What did the pickle say to his friend Rick?

"We are Pickle Ricks!"

GOTTVERDAMMT, Hans! I said, "Glass of juice," not "Gas the Jews!"

A guy asked me what I do for a living.

Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

It was a blast to visit the Twin Towers on 9/11 at exactly 8:46 a.m. It was the bomb... like, literally!

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Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.

Did you hear about the baseball game between America and Ethiopia?

America - 8

Ethiopia - didn't.

What did the South Tower say to the North Tower?

It's been an hour since I crashed the tower.

What did the emo kid say to the other?

"I like ya cut, G."

What is better than winning gold at the Para Olympics?

WALKING!

Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.

You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...

Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...

What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?

Death.

Yo mama so ugly, she made the band One Direction go the other direction!