The jokes
At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."
What's the difference between orphans and dogs?
Dogs get adopted.
What’s the best thing about 26 year olds?
There are 20 of them.
What do you call a group of emo kids?
The suicide squad.
JACK AND JILL 2.0
After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,
Jack was screaming till his voice went nil,
And Jill screamed "Chill!"
Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.
What's the difference between a painting and Jesus?
A painting only needs one nail.
I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...
"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."
Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)
I saw a website for orphans. It was a bit confusing because I could not find the homepage.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the fool's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
If chickens wake up when the rooster crows, then when do ducks wake up?
At the quack of dawn.
You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!
Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?
A: Fall.
If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.
What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?
Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!
I moved all the Bibles to the fiction section because there is no God, as said Stephen Hawking in 2011, but in 2018, God said there was no Stephen Hawking.
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"
Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the chicken.