The jokes

Lipstick

The other day, my girlfriend asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.

She still isn't talking to me.

Language

Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic.

Next, google "God in Aramaic". See the results for yourself. <3

Orphan

What is the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?

One of them is wanted.

Orphan

Why do orphans eat cereal with water?

Their dad never came home with the milk.

Orphan

What’s the difference between a child who is home alone and an orphan?

They’re both alone, but only one is home.

Memes

Pervert

Why did the pervert sing "Gucci Gang"?

Because a woman just gave him a lil pump.

Pizza

I mean I'd tell you a joke about the pizza I ate, but it's just too cheesy.

Cinderella

Why couldn't Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach?

Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!

Cheese

I saw a piece of cheese and it told me a joke, but the joke was too cheesy.

Train

The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.

Divorce

Did y’all hear about the increasing divorce rate because people are addicted to Fortnite?

They’re just two weeks to quit.

Skeleton

Sans: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

Papyrus: Because he looked like me.

Sans: Sure.

Conductor

A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."

Ice

What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.

Windmill

The first windmill said to the second, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The second windmill said, "I'm a big metal fan!"

Cow

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

Nobody finds that one funny.