The jokes
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
When you steal the weird pet rock, so he pulls out his pet Glock.
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Person: Why?
Me: Because he wanted to.
So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"
Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"
Q: What did one koala say to the other? A: How's it hanging? 😂
Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.
Riddles not jokes.
What has 4 legs but cannot walk?
What has bark but no bite?
There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?
What has holes but can carry water?
What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?
What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?
What can you catch but not throw?
And last one:
What can rule, but not command?
Tell me the answers in the comments.
Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/
One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.
Women need to be in the kitchen.
What is the hardest thing to eat on a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Why did the woman feel ugly?
A. Nobody would even rape her.
Josh: What’s the useless piece of skin around the vagina called?
Daniel: Isn’t it the women?
Josh: Oh yes, that’s right.
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute only has one crack, and has to wash it and sell it again.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."
"Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.
Who was the knight on the Round Table that only ate meat?
Sir Loin.
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?
"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She choked.
A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"
He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"