The jokes
What's the best cure for aging? Suicide.
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
What did Thanos say when he snapped his finger? Another one bites the dust.
Where do you find white people on a bench?
- The NBA.
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?
'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.
Memes
Why can’t dinosaurs cross the road?
Because they’re dead.
An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."
Are you getting the funnies?
What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!
Blood is red.
Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other?
LEAN BEEF!
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-BONE!
P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because someone booted her in the face. 🤣🤣
Michael Jackson was recently sighted at Target. Why? The sale was all boys' pants half off!
Therapist just mean the-rapist.
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
People are like sharks; only the great ones are white.
My mother was suffering from menstrual pain. So I fucked her for 7 hours to ease her pain. I continued to do so for the next 6 days. Even after fucking her 51 times during her 7-day period, I fucked her 5-6 times a day for the next three months and stopped her period for 9 months! Only her son can understand and ease the pain of a mother.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
My favorite species is a cheetah because
Ima cheet-ah on the test.