The jokes

Cannibal

Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

A: He wiped his ass.

Strike

why was the bad baseball player so good at bowling?

He kept making strikes.

Witness

What is the first thing you should always take care of first after a car crash?

The witnesses.

Orphan

What’s the only other advantage of being an orphan?

The teacher can’t give you homework.

Garden

A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.

Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...

Kid

What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?

He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.

Orphan

Why can’t an orphan use an iPhone?

Because it can’t find the home button.

Chess

"In chess, a queen can move in more directions than the king."

I mean, yeah, the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor, so-

Bomb

I want to tell you a joke about 9/11... but I'm afraid it will be the bomb.

Orphan

What’s the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?

Pikachu, I choose you!

Dandruff

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.

Pledge

I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."

I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"

Hairline

Bro, your hairline is still missing. Even Dora the Explorer can't discover it!